This was what the sermon was on today - our calling and obedience, so I was waiting eagerly for the preacher to start when a memory came to me. It was during my high school basketball days. I remembered one game in particular when we were playing in our small hometown gym. The score was close, it was nearing the end of the game, I remember the crowd being loud and adrenaline high. The boys team was suited up and ready to go and they were all standing in front of their locker room right next to where I was getting into position. The buzzer was about to sound, it was the final seconds and the ball was passed to me. I remember hearing one of them yell "Shoot!", and I did, right as the buzzer rang. 3 points - swish! Game over, we won and I scored the final points! I was excited. I jumped in the air, thew my fist up and yelled. I began to run toward one of my friends to celebrate, only to see her look at me with wide eyes and say "OK" (the way you say it when you are making fun of someone who has done something weird). Obviously she was embarrassed at my open show of excitement. I shrunk about 4 feet I think. I will never forget that feeling of exhilaration diminished to shame in a matter of seconds.
See, this may not sound like anything big, but we were teenage high school girls from a small town, within an even small clique. We were supposed to maintain a level of coolness, not let it all go out in front of everyone. What was I thinking!? So the big game moment should have been something I shrugged off and walked away from, with a little swag of course, but not with an outburst! I should have known better! And please note I'm not picking on anyone here because I will admit I did this to others too, expected a certain behavior or attitude to be cool or part of the group or whatever you want to call it.
So, back to the present, I had the memory and immediately felt God speak to my spirit and say, "Don't let anyone quell your excitement." And it occurred to me, these times are not any different. People all around us have certain ideas of what we should do or not do, say or not say, how we should act, how we should spend our time and money, and the list goes on and on. Most of us want the people around us to join in our excitement for God but it's ultimately their choice and if they look down on us or shame us for it somehow, we cannot let it curb our enthusiasm. Obviously, certain situations and conversations require discretion and we should always think of how our words and actions affect others, but if we follow God there will be people who decide not to participate with us or accept us. They might think our excitement and the things we do are unintelligent, over the top, unqualified, uninspired or even wrong. But if we are truly following God and His Word, we can't let that stop us from fulfilling our purpose and living the exciting life God has for us. We simply can't let what someone else may think steal our joy and excitement.
I looked up the word "quell" because I thought it was interesting that God would use that. Sometimes I know its God speaking because its a word I'd never think of in my usual thinking! It means to quiet, to pacify, or reduce to submission. I certainly can see through that memory and can think of other circumstances in my life when I have felt like I have been reduced to submission, quieted or simply pacified at times, haven't you? It's an awful and oppressive feeling. So my prayer today is that I will follow God without reserve. It seems odd to pray for stubbornness but I prayed for a stubborn strong will and resolve to follow Him. And not to worry about what others think as long as I am obeying the Lord and truly following the path He has for me. I prayed for a "face set like flint". I have a long way to go, but I know with God's help I'm on my way there! I pray you are too! Let it all out, without holding back, unashamed! Follow God with grit, determination, and excitement expressed without reservation! That's freedom, and its ours if we will take it!
Isaiah 50:7
Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.
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